The last of the famous, international playgirls (Kate Jackson, not me)

The Long Blondes at the Kentish Town Forum, Monday 21st April 2008

In her Betty Grable/Paulette Goddard/forties bellhop come land girl outfit (it’s not many people that can pull off those high-waisted hot pants, fair dos) Kate Jackson is on fire tonight, working the crowd into the highest point of frenzied activity during the coquettish, outlandish (‘Come out with me and find out what you really want’) new punk classic, Once and Never Again. The sweaty boys at the front spontaneously surge backwards and forwards trying to get closer and closer to the vamped up librarian (not sure if that was ever true or not), now self-styled femme fatale, and gsg has to take a couple of discreet steps backward to avoid getting too much unwanted bodily contact. Urgh. It’s not so much a Mexican wave as a Kentish Town scuffle.

Anyways, the night is uber successful with the grittier tracks from the first album colliding not too cacophonously with the newer, sleeker, dancier, euphoria-inducing tracks like Century from the new album “Couples”. The effect is somewhat schizophrenic however; it seems like the band has perhaps been hanging out a bit too often with the likes of Allison Goldfrapp and the Klaxons and some of the tracks like the new single, Too clever by half, totally fails to impress upon me I’m afraid; it just didn’t seem to get going melodically or lyrically; what is it about for Jesus’ sake? I kept straining to catch the drift of it but it was a totally quagmire live (this could be down to my failing hearing btw so don’t take my word for it; it could be like Shakespeare or something). I guess I’m just going to have to buy the album now and give it another go.

8.5/10. GSG.

Center Parcs, Center Percs, Center-field? Gin-girl goes rural on your/her ass…

Hello, Hello, I'm back on the case after a short break away from the perils and tribulations of Blogland. What have I been doing with myself? Well, trying to avoid pecuniary disaster and damnation for one, but also getting all holistic and 'with the programme' when it comes to health and fitness. Not that I've given up the gin trail of course, but I've been trying to walking the tightrope between hedonism, reckless alcoholism and total despair a little more carefully. To be specific, in grand Dickensian style, I've just got back from Center Parcs no less! Me, hawking and falconing and even horse-riding! Stick a label on me and call me Priscilla, Tamsin (or some other pretentious horsey name)why don't ya?

Yes, I have gotten over my, definately partially class-based fear (me being common as muck and my parents, friends etc, never having done such a thing in my life), and made acquaintance with our equine cousins. To be honest, the horse I ended up with was a bit of a coach potato- 'She's a bit of a fat pony' the stable attendant said as she loosened the girth (I think that's the terminology); well, quite. In fact I have sneaky feeling that 'Secret' as she was called, would have preferred to have been tucked-up in a cosy stable watching Richard and Judy with a horse-sized bag of Quavers or cheesy Wotsits, than trudging my less than experienced bag of bones around a series of probably over-familiar fields. I tried to correct her once, in a moment of Grandstand-induced enthusiasm, and a desire to go slightly more than somnabulist-tortoise speed, only to be rebuffed with a theatrical 'I'll thank you not to tell me what to do' mane-toss. Anyway, we made friends and got to our destination without further incidence. I enjoyed the experience overall and 'Secret' tolerated me like a special needs tutor with a particularly remedial charge in tow. Guess she has to earn her oats somehow!

So what else was there to enjoy of the Center Parcs experience? Well, the falconry was good, and I correctly guessed that the adult male Barn Owl, Twinkle, weighed the same as my friend's recently newborn baby, Finlay, i.e. 71b. Not much to be sure, but I never win anything, so was well chuffed with this fleeting accolade. The 'Sub-tropical' paradise was also good fun, despite the numerous over-excited and excitable munschins that dominated the pool during the day (I recommend going after dark, and with a couple of glasses of gin-based cocktail in your belly to avoid them). I even went down the water rapids and the water slides with true Boudica-style bravado; kinda. There was no ransacking of Londiminium or savaging of Roman oppressors; just me on a kiddie slide, trying not to feel like a totally effing eejit. You see the truth is that I never did this kind of stuff when I was younger; my parents were slightly less than adventurous and I was a bit of a wimp truth be told. Riding on horses and shooting down water slides at top speed was not top of the agenda for mini-gin soaked girl, more's the pity. If I ever do have kids, and the likelihood is small at this stage, I'll definitely let them have more woodsy/adventurous/outdoorsy type fun. So there.

Well, back to the gin, sawdust lined pubs and other urbanite endeavours.GSG.